WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCare
TM:
- Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.
- Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.
- You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
- States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
- You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
- You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
- A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.
- You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.
- Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman."
- You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.
The Borowitz Report
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3 comments:
In 2008, the American people voted for change and reform.
In 2009, Republican politicians voted against reform.
What part of progress don't Republicans understand?
Cynical but fair.
I thought it was lighthearted. The debate was/is getting so emotional. I didn't care for the Lieberman poke though. Not making a statement pro or con about him, just prefer to argue the issues, not the people.
Speaking of fair, Paul Krugman had a balanced take on the healthcare bill in the NYTs yesterday:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/25/opinion/25krugman.html
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