Thursday, December 24, 2009

Update On Healthcare: CompromiseCareTM

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCareTM:
  • Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.
  • Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.
  • You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
  • States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
  • You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
  • You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
  • A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.
  • You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.
  • Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman."
  • You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.
The Borowitz Report


Jim Purdy said...

In 2008, the American people voted for change and reform.

In 2009, Republican politicians voted against reform.

What part of progress don't Republicans understand?

RB said...

Cynical but fair.

Bix said...

I thought it was lighthearted. The debate was/is getting so emotional. I didn't care for the Lieberman poke though. Not making a statement pro or con about him, just prefer to argue the issues, not the people.

Speaking of fair, Paul Krugman had a balanced take on the healthcare bill in the NYTs yesterday: